Understanding love and being loved in relationships
Romantic relationships are complex. They are a dance of give-and-take, where learning how to love someone the way they want to be loved is as critical as learning to receive love in return. This delicate balancing act is often one of the most challenging life journeys. That’s why couples counseling can be so beneficial. We help partners learn how to both love and be loved, striking that perfect equilibrium.
Communication, intimacy, and self-care
Central to our approach is building communication and intimacy, alongside fostering personal wellness. Partners are encouraged to understand the balance between auto-regulation (taking good care of oneself) and co-regulation (taking good care of each other). The ability to discern which contexts require which strategy is a focal point of our couples counseling work.
Holistic and unique approach to couples therapy
We work with a blend of two distinctive methods of couples therapy, providing a comprehensive and unique approach to address both common and unique relational struggles.
Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
Building Love Maps
- Concept: Understanding our partner.
- Goal: Avoid misunderstandings and conflicts by updating ‘love maps.’
Rebuilding the Friendship
- Focus: Increase fondness and admiration during disconnection.
- Outcome: Rebuild trust and connection.
Accepting Influence
- Encouragement: Welcome and respect each other’s thoughts, ideas, and feelings.
- Benefit: Inform decision-making processes that impact the relationship.
Solving Problems
- Guidance: Discuss challenging topics without fights.
- Focus: Address the problem, not blame.
Finding Acceptance
- Importance: Acceptance is crucial for relationship health.
- Help: Understand and accept unsolvable or perpetual problems.
PACT: The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy
Creating Profound Safety and Security
- Tool: Create a ‘couple bubble.’
- Effect: Buffer against life’s struggles, fostering a supportive relationship.
Calming the Brain
- Understanding: Neurobiology of patterned conflict.
- Insight: Calm the brain and reconnect with the evolved, social self during conflicts.
Understanding Early Attachments
- Insight: Impact of early childhood experiences on adult relationships.
- Guidance: Support unmet needs from partner’s past.
Creating Rituals of Connection
- Establishment: Daily habits and rituals.
- Purpose: Safeguard against disconnection, strengthen present connection.