As the new year approaches, many of us feel the pull to make resolutions. However, the statistics don’t lie: research suggests that only about 9% of New Year’s resolutions are fully kept. Why is this? Often, resolutions lack the structure and flexibility needed to succeed. This year, instead of aiming for resolutions, why not set shared goals as a couple? Unlike resolutions, which tend to be sweeping declarations, goals offer a more flexible and achievable path to growth—and when pursued together, they create a shared sense of purpose and support.

Here’s how you can approach setting New Year’s goals that feel realistic, motivating, and are designed to bring you closer together.

1. Start by Reflecting on Last Year

Before jumping into what you want to achieve, it’s helpful to take stock of where you’ve been. Sit down together and take turns sharing a few highlights and challenges from the past year. What did you accomplish together? Where did you feel stretched? Reflection helps you both recognize the progress you’ve already made and understand what matters most to you moving forward. Reflecting on past challenges can guide your New Year’s goals.

Ask each other questions like: “What were some of our biggest wins?” or “Are there things we wish we had more time for?” These conversations give you insights that can make setting goals more meaningful.

2. Understand the Difference: Resolutions vs. Goals

While resolutions are often vague and high-pressure—think “exercise more” or “spend less”—goals are specific, measurable, and more forgiving. For example, instead of saying, “Let’s spend less,” you could set a shared goal to create a budget and save a certain amount by the end of the year. Goals are also more likely to succeed because they can be broken down into smaller, achievable steps that you can adjust along the way.

As a couple, setting goals rather than resolutions can help you stay motivated and avoid the sense of failure that often comes with rigid resolutions. Specific goals can significantly impact your New Year’s goals.

3. Choose Goals That Reflect Your Shared Values

When setting goals, think about the values that are most important to both of you. Maybe you both value health, financial stability, quality time, or travel. Once you identify these values, brainstorm a couple of goals in each area that align with them. This approach allows you to work toward something meaningful, not just what you think you “should” do.

For instance, if you both value health, you might set a goal to try one new fitness activity together each month. By focusing on shared values, your goals become reminders of the life you want to build together rather than just tasks to check off. Your shared values can shape your New Year’s goals effectively.

4. Break Goals Down into Small, Achievable Steps

A common pitfall with New Year’s resolutions is that they’re often big, sweeping ideas that lack a roadmap. Breaking your goals down into monthly or weekly steps gives you a clear path forward. If one of your goals is to save for a trip, for example, you could start by setting aside a small, realistic amount each month.

Each step should feel doable. When your goals are specific and manageable, you’re much more likely to stick with them—and you’ll have regular progress to celebrate along the way! This ensures consistency with your New Year’s goals.

5. Set Up Regular Check-Ins

Accountability and encouragement are key to reaching goals, especially when you’re working on them together. Set up regular “goal check-ins,” perhaps monthly or every few months, where you revisit your goals, share any challenges, and celebrate wins. These check-ins allow you both to stay flexible. If one goal isn’t working as expected, you can adjust rather than feeling defeated.

During check-ins, ask each other: “What’s working well so far?” or “Do we need to adjust any steps?” By having this dedicated time to revisit your goals, you create a supportive space for growth and connection. Check-ins are vital for sticking to your New Year’s goals.

6. Celebrate Your Progress—Big and Small

Achieving a goal isn’t just about reaching the finish line; it’s about the journey. Make sure to celebrate each small step you accomplish together, whether it’s a successful check-in, meeting a monthly target, or just making consistent progress. Celebrations can be as simple as a cozy night in, a shared meal, or something meaningful to both of you.

Celebrating along the way keeps motivation high and reminds you both of the joy in working toward a shared vision. Keep celebrating small achievements in your New Year’s goals journey.

Making the New Year Count—Together

Setting goals as a couple gives you the chance to enter the new year with a clear and shared vision. When you approach the new year with flexible, values-based goals, you’re not only setting yourselves up for success; you’re strengthening the partnership you’re building together. Instead of letting the pressure of resolutions weigh you down, let this year be about growth, connection, and the excitement of working toward something you both care about.

Embrace the journey, celebrate each step, and support each other every step of the way. Here’s to a new year filled with purpose, connection, and the joy of building a life together. Your New Year’s goals can make the upcoming year truly special.